Is it just me or are you feeling as terrible as I am?
My speculation is that the mercury retrograde has a key role in how I am feeling lately.
All I know is that I am sad, confused, and I am acting in ways that I know are self-sabotaging towards my goals.
And just to take you back a few weeks ago... things were going pretty darn good in my life. I was adhering to a balanced energy-rich diet, keeping up with my meditation practice, sending love to my journal, receiving 5 element acupuncture once a week, meeting with my holistic therapist once a week and overall feeling pretty damn balanced, physically and emotionally.
But, just this past week everything as taken a turn for the shitter...
I feel outside of myself.
I feel depleted.
I feel lost.
I feel like a bit of me is dying inside.
And the part of me that is doing the dying is my soul.
My soul is craving to be free...for its cage to be opened so I can spread my wings and sore to my infinite potential.
And for certain, what it doesn't want, is to be trapped in a mundane cycle of daily repetition. I have succumbed from one waitressing job to the next; always thinking the next one will be better than the last. Truth is- I'm excellent at my job, but it's not what my soul needs.
My soul wants to be out exploring the world.
Engaging in meaningful conversations.
Deepening its spiritual practice.
Going deep inside, into that safe and sacred place and having all the time and space to journey through that uncharted territory.
It wants to meet new, healthy people and to feel loved. My soul is crying out that what I am currently doing isn't working.
Many people might see this as a fable.
As a dream...
And to keep on wishin'...
Well I don't.
I have always been the type of person to believe their is a way. A better way than suffering through the daily grind.
I know that the life I am seeking is also seeking me. If I can stay true to what it is I'm feeling, to become clear on that vision, take action, and to trust the Universe then I'm certain I can have the life I am seeking.
And to the people who have been in my life during this roller coaster of a quest..
I apologize to you.
I know I have been hard to be around at times and that my emotions are up and down.
Deep down I don't want to be this way, but right now I don't know how to be any other way. I will work on being a better communicator and diligently work on being more respectful towards you even when I'm feeling so bad inside... This is just the truth of how I've been feeling lately. And even though I was feeling so great a few ago, I know that everything ebbs and flows. I realize that this phase of my life is occurring for a reason and I simply must embrace it.
And to end this, I ask of the Universe and all Spirits to surround me and everyone else with light, love, and happiness and to restore our sanity back to perfect health.
Anyone else having days similar to these? If so, share with us in the COMMENTS button below!